Okay, I forgot to weigh last week so I don't know how much I lost. I know I've lost something but I'm thinking God allowed me to forget because He wants me to see this as a life change not just a numbers change. Because of that - I may not weigh every week. I'm not committing to that statement yet because I need to pray about it.
Looking at numbers can be really good. I can be encouraged to see my weight going down and it also gives me a push when I have become stagnant in my shrinking process. But I can also get obsessed with it and get discouraged because there might be change going on inside of me that numbers can't see. So, I don't know. I did weigh today. I wasn't thrilled with the number but that's not surprising.
Had a very busy weekend. I ended on a bad note food wise. I did the whole "deserving thing" that I wrote about a few days ago. We went to a couple's house for lunch and had yummy chili and salad. Ended with good coffee and a bit of a cinnamon roll. But then (six hours later) we were driving home at 9:30 last night after Crosswalk and a leaders meeting and I was starving. Instead of going home and eating a light snack of cereal, I got Wendy's. It wasn't pretty. It was better than I would have done prior to my commitment for self-discipline last week but it still was bad enough I had to confess my poor choices (health and financially) before God this morning. I am thankful that I was sensitive enough to feel the conviction from the Holy Spirit in this area.
The hard part is I told Martin that I had confessed my sin of wrong choices and he apologized for taking me there. That is going to be the hardest about all of this. I don't want Martin to feel he has to go on this journey with me. I want him to support me but not be forced to actually do it. But I am just giving that to God. I can't control all of it.
Tonight is our missions committee meeting. Every line in the budget is being cut. I hate the fact that the missions budget is a part of that but I'm trying to see it as an opportunity to cut out some fat (I hate to call it that but we support some pretty odd things). Our church is walking through some hard things financially but nothing we aren't working through. Being on committees make me feel like a grown up. FINALLY!