Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Day 59 - Ripping Out The Sin In Our Lives

Oh my. I know that if you go wholeheartedly to God He will do great things. I just didn't realize that what Martin and I have been doing is going halfheartedly to Him. And guess what? We get halfhearted results which are like wood, hay and stubble - burned when tested.

For some time I have been wrestling with why it doesn't seem like God is doing much in our lives. I would say He has a in a holding pattern for something big. I don't know that for sure but I have always felt that Martin and I were called to something bigger than ourselves and the mediocrity that the average Christian American lives in. Recently, I have stopped focusing on what God wants to DO in our lives and have been trying to just focus on God. And when you place yourself in a vulnerable place - at the throne of our Great God, asking to change you - He starts revealing sins and idols in your life that you didn't want Light cast on. That's what He's done in the past weeks to Martin and I. It is good. He is good. It hurts to be sanctified sometimes. But I don't care if it hurts. I just want to serve Him and please Him. That's all.

JJ Heller, a singer/songwriter that we have become huge fans of has a song called "Only Love Remains." I love when a songwriter takes what is screaming in your soul and puts words to it. That's what this song does.

Only Love Remains
Scenes of You come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground
I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart
Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains
You burn away the ropes that bind
And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth
I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I'm a shadow
But I'm dancing in your light
Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves.
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

I think that the best part of God ripping the walls around our heart that we've been trying to hide our sin in, is that He gives us great release from that harshness. Monday night our friend Amber who we met at Word of Life and sang in our wedding came down from Upstate New York. She and I went to NYC yesterday to drop somethings off at the Brazilian Consulate. We were able to hang out in the city and catch up. My legs are sore from all the walking but my stomach is sore from laughing so much. She was able to be around for only a short time but the timing was perfect - even if she didn't realize she was coming around a very hard time for Martin and I. I am so thankful to God for friends!

Oh, by the way - JJ Heller is a great investment for your music library. She has three albums (Only Love Remains, The Pretty and the Plain, and Painted Red) . All albums are great and her style is folk (kind of like Sara Groves in her writing and music style but her voice is very pure sounding). Just great music to listen to while doing anything - and the words to the songs are very full of God's truth.

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