I have to admit, if I want to, I can pretend everything is great in my life even if my heart is breaking. It's not a gift, trust me. It's more like a curse. But I think that we as humans and even deeper as Christians, choose to not see when someone is hurting. I'm really good at reading people. I guess it's the gift of discernment in some ways. But many times I see that friends, family members, church people, and co-workers are hurting but I choose to ignore them. So now that I think about it, maybe I just think I'm really good at "puttin' on" (as my Granddaddy Lawson would say).
I did terrible on eating last night. I sometimes think I can eat as much as I used to. When I shove it all in really fast (not stuffing it but eating something then another then something else) I don't allow my body register that it is full. So I was miserable after dinner and too full to work out. What a vicious cycle huh? Hopefully I learned my lesson.
I'm going through the book of Romans for my devotions and I'm trying to go really slow. I'm in chapter four and in verse five it says (Amplified Version) "But to one who, not working [by the Law], trusts (believes fully) in Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited to him as righteousness (the standing acceptable to God)." I read my MacAurther study Bible notes along with it and John Mac says, "Faith is not a meritorious work. It is never the ground of justification - it is simply the channel through which it is received and it, too, is a gift." I have no idea why any of that hit me like it did but sometimes I guess I forget that faith is a gift. It's not something that I can simply have because I'm human but instead because I am a child of God. Thank you Father for the gift of faith and that it is just a way to know You more and love You more.