There. I admit it. I love listening to sermons! If I don't have thinking tasks at work I have a sermon on. It could be my dad (fbcpowell.org), Mark Driscoll (marshillchurch.org), Matt Chandler (thevillagechurch.net), Francis Chan (cornerstonesimi.com) or James MacDonald (walkintheword.com).
Part of me wishes I could read the Bible as much as I listen to Godly men that preach it. But the reality is, I can't. I do my devotions in the morning but then I have to go to work. So, I enjoy listening when I can. The past month or so I've been doing pretty mindless work, catching up on things I've neglected for the past year. It's been a real treat.
Through different sermons, I've been learning what it's really like to see where your treasures are. That's where my heart is. So, I took last months bank account statement and categorized it. That's what one pastor said to do. Look at your bank account and that will show you where your heart is. And guess what I found out? Our hearts are at Starbucks. Well, and other optional places. I looked at how many times we went out to eat this past month and the majority of the time it wasn't with someone else. It was alone or just the two of us. So our hearts (idols) are our stomachs. They are also at Target. I buy a lot of my groceries at Target but I also buy optional items there too. Looking at our spending made both Martin and I sick.
So, as one pastor said as I was listening while I was working out, what am I going to do about it? Am I going to nod and make the appropriate "hmmm" in my pew on Sunday or am I going to do something about it? After talking it through, Martin and I have decided to keep a spending journal and keep each other accountable. Some friends did it this past month for other reasons and if they can do it - we can do it. If we really want to invest in things not of this world we need to make real changes and not just spend without purpose. I was convinced we were going to sell our house earlier today but I think that might need some prayer and fasting attached to it, not just emotions as I'm crying in my office repenting of my wrong spending and idols to God.
I never thought God would take me this route when I started 120 days ago. I thought I would be 20 pounds smaller and growing in Christ my way. But once again, He's shown me that He is so much bigger than my outward struggles and more importantly, much bigger than my inward heart struggles.