Is anyone else really bad with follow through? I am. Sadly good intentions are not what define us. It's the follow through with those good intentions.
I hated basketball growing up. I went to basketball camp in fourth grade and truly wanted to die. I thought maybe I'd take up the sport since my big and little brother were so good at it. I was wrong. I was taught lay ups right handed. It never occurred to me to tell them I was left handed (wouldn't they just notice if I was dribbling with my left hand?!?!). I always ran up with the ball in my left hand and tried to throw it in the hoop like a right hander using my double jointed arms. It was all around bad. But one thing I was decent at was free throws. I had the wrong form (both hands hoisting the ball) but I had a good percentage rate getting them in. I always remember the coaches (who were the girls high school basketball players) yelling, "follow through!" I still don't know why keeping your hands up in the same position until the ball hit the rim or went in the hoop helped but non-the-less, I remember the yelling, "follow through!"
That phrase rings in my ears more and more as I get older. I am plagued with half finished things. I don't even know if I want to list them because my pride may be so crushed that I won't finish this post (see - it all stems from pride)! But I am trying to change that. Again, this is the evident working of the Holy Spirit in my life. My problem (among many, many others) is trying to help Martin follow through too. I mean, if the Holy Spirit is working on it with me - then of course it's my duty as a wife to help Martin right!?!? Wrong. I'm wrong because instead of praying that God will also work in Martin's life in the same way, I try to change him myself. Because let's face it, I can do such a better job than God (grrr - there's that pride again!). I know I don't consciously say that but my actions show it.
I was reminded of one of my favorite Psalms today - "The LORD is gracious and full of compassion, Slow to anger and great in mercy" (Ps 145:8). I thank God he is FULL of compassion, SLOW when it comes to anger and GREAT when it comes to mercy! I think I should have it all together and sometimes I really think I do. But my Father allows me to stack my blocks of life on top of one another and then allows them to fall over again and again so He can show me that unless I am completely dependent on His hands to hold them up and hold them together, they will always fall down - every time. I'm thankful for those giant hands and I'm thankful they belong to a Father that is FULL of compassion, SLOW in His anger (which is all very righteous) and GREAT in mercy! Because it's all through Him that I can and will follow through with anything.