Saturday, April 10, 2010

Day 76 - I Wish You Could See What I See

I'm at a ladies retreat with my mother-in-law's church this weekend and I am also having to keep a close eye on my IJS school site (job stuff). We had an emergency break down Thursday night with our site so yesterday was full of emails and other fun stuff with work - and it was a day off! Oh well, that's the part of my job that isn't fun but the good side is that I have to have internet access anywhere so I get a Verizon card that allows me to get on the internet at any time.

I wish you could see what I am looking at right now. I'm about 25 feet from the edge of the Chesapeake Bay, sitting in an Adirondack chair, cuddled up in a blanket, JJ Heller on my ipod, three books to read and watching a boat pass by. The sun is warm, the wind is cool. I am quite content.

Something God is teaching me is obeying without knowledge as to why. I sometimes work well with obeying when I understand things. I think if I explain to a child as to why I am asking them not to do something they will obey. This is occasionally the case but the fact is - as humans, our heart's desire is to disobey. We are wicked in our flesh - down to the core and we like to forget that. We're not that bad! Yes we are. Yes I am. I'm evil without Christ. It's all because of Him that I have any good. The bible says our works done without Christ are like filthy rags and the rags it's talking about are like women's dirty rags from their period. That's what they are to God - it's truly all because of Jesus that I am alive.

Okay sorry, I got off my obeying point a bit (surprise, surprise). I read recently that one of the laws that God had his people (Israel) do was wash their hands before they ate. He was very specific as to how to wash them but not as to why. The person who wrote this said that we can now assume that the reason was because God was protecting His people from disease and plagues that would often sweep over towns, cities, and even whole countries. It really hit me that I do not trust God in that way. I know things but there is a disconnect between knowing (and even talking about it) and living it minute by minute. So, I am practicing obeying. And this is done by asking God before I do something. Oh how I wish I could hear Him audibly but I can't but I do have the Holy Spirit and God promises that when you ask for His wisdom He gives it. This has caused me to talk less and listen more in some instances (although I could really do a lot less talking all together).

So, I'll obey Him by waiting on the Holy Spirit to direct me and I'll obey Him even though I am often convinced in my ugly, dirty, wicked, evil heart that I know better.

Wish you were here seeing what I see - on so many levels.

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