Okay, I just spent the last few minutes trying to figure out how many days I've been alive. I know, it's crazy. I look at 11,841 and honestly it doesn't look like much. I mean, 100,000, that's a lot but that means I would have to live until I am 273 and I'd really rather not. Of those 11,841 days I've been a Christian for over 4,000. 4,000 days of knowing Christ. Of falling and stumbling and conquering, and learning, and growing and struggling and rejoicing and mourning and pressing on. There are some things that I have struggled with before and after salvation. I will probably struggle with them until I die but it's not the struggling that is bad. It's the regression. I should be progressing. It shouldn't be one step forward two back. It needs to be two steps forward one step back.
What I am talking about in particular is my weight. I say I want to lose weight but my actions are completely opposite of my words. And if I was talking about anything else I would call myself a liar. So why am I allowing this to be okay? I'll be the first to admit that the American church has accepted being overweight as okay. Saying it's not a sin to be unhealthy. And honestly it's not the overweight part that is the sin. That can just be an effect of the sin. The sin is not having self control in all areas of life. You can be 120 pounds and be in sin because of the way you're controlling your weight. It's the conviction of something from God and allowing it to be okay because it's accepted.
Today, January 25, 2010, I want to begin something that I have thought about for years. I want to blog about my struggles openly. I really don't care if you read this or not. It's not for you. It's for me, prompted by what I believe is from God. This is one area that I don't want to give to Him but I must. Obedience is the first and most important step to victory. I'm not on a plan as of now. I am simply eating less and more healthy and exercising more and keeping track of it by writing it all down. It's being more self-disciplined in all areas of life. And again, struggling openly. So here I go, again. I've been here before, starting this but thank God that His mercy's are new every morning!